Its Just Memories
by killeraccounts
Summary: Gary suffers from childhood memories as one is brought back to him after the passing of his mother. luckly he still has friends that cares about him enough to help him through a difficult time.


**_I was listenting to Nicki Minaj~All things go when i started writing this. It just made me think about Roach (Gary Sanderson) so yeah i hope yall enjoy this story._**

In The Ruins

I sat there thinking about the day my mother had passed. Everything was fine before i left to join the military. She was stable and she had my sister Giana watching over her. _Which i was thankful for._ My mother had left my father when we were younger because he was so abusive towards us. He never touched giana because she would bruise easily. _As if i didnt._ We never really had a father and Son type of relationship. Things just didnt work out that well between us. He would always find ways to take his anger out me, as if i was the one to blame. The constant beatings, and hair pullings was leading us no where. _It kept us_ _torn_ _apart and very distance from one an_ _other._ He was never the one for asking questions neither. Instead he would just beat me as if that was the answer for everything. Not once has he ever said that im sorry, Not once has he ever said that i loved you. Not once has he ever cared about trying to fix things between us. _He just didnt give a fuck. How could anyone be so damn...cruel to their own flesh and blood ?_ _let alone..their only son ?_ I felt sick to my stomach even thinking about it. I stared blankly at the ceiling in the room that i had to share with Royce. And i just thought about all the terrible things that he used to do to me as a kid.

" What a dick. I said to myself wiping a tear from my eye with the back of my hand. It reminded me of the time we went on a family outing in London. Everyone was there including my older sister Giana.

 _Flashback_

 _Giana ? take Gary and go play on the swings for awhile. I need to talk with your mother._

 _"Ok dad. She said boredly. "Come on Gary._

 _She took me by the hand as we headed towards the playground. When we got there however i couldnt help but ease drop on what mom and dad were talking about. Seeing that Giana was distracted, i headed back towards the car hiding behind some bushes as i approached._

 _What the fuck were you doing with him Grace ? he questioned her._

 _She stood by the car smoking a cigarette paying him no attention whatsoever. I could see him take the now burning object out of her hand and throw it to the ground putting it out violently._

 _Hey !! he yelled. Answer the fucking question._

 _She let out a short sigh before replying to his question._

 _"Alright..you really wanna know what i was doing with him Gerald ? She said looking at him cautiously._

 _"Yes. I really would like to fucking know. his anger not seeming to drop at all._

 _"Ok ...i fucked him Gerald. Are you happy now ? she said smiling at her guilt._

 _I watched them carefully as to what was going to happen next. He took a step back trying to calm his nerves before moving back towards her and slapping her hard across the face._

 _You filthy bitch !!! You Bloody fucking whore !! he yelled._

 _When he slapped her again i just couldnt stop myself from slightly jumping up as the bushes moved behind me. Just when i was about to run away out of fear of getting my ass whooped. He grabs me by the shirt collar holding me in place._

 _Gary !! " What did i tell you about ease dropping on mommy and daddies converstation ?_

 _I stayed still as i seen the green in his eyes change colors. I didnt move a muscle because i was scared shitless._

 _" What did i tell you would happen next time if i caught you doing that ? he asked again. But i was still silent._

 _He glared at me with his piercing green eyes before dragging me back over to the car. He shoved me inside before calling for my sister Giana_. _We took off back home because... he was upset. Our mother was cheating on him with another man. **Couldnt blame her though.**_ _Not to mention he was pissed when i had eased dropped on their converstation. He hated when i was always in their business. I just couldnt help it. All the yelling and the screaming was driving me insane. It got to a point where they would start fighting each other and breaking things around the house. He was a drinker as well. Always getting drunk , coming home late and taking his anger out on me. If it wasnt my mother. The fighting never ended. On_ _ce we arrived we all went inside. I was the first to book for my room but stopped when he had grabbed me by the arm holding it tighly so that i couldnt move._

 _" Oi !! Where the fuck do you think your going ? Im not done with you yet. he said pushing me towards the bathroom._

" _Let go of him Gerald !! she cried out hitting him on the arm._

 _Get off me bitch !!! He's my son to. he yelled at her._

 _Stop it !!! Giana said crying and pulling at her hair._

" _Let him go Gerald !!! she begged him._

 _He punched her in the nose before dragging me into the bathroom by my shirt collar and locking the door behind him. She ran to the door trying to_ _break it down while Giana stood there crying in the kitchen._ _I could hear her yelling at him from behind the door. Gerald !!!! Gerald !! Dont you dare hurt my baby you son-of-a-bitch !! she said kicking and hitting the door non-stop._

 _I froze as he took off his belt. That leather belt that i knew so well._ _He called it my_ _best friend._ _He started to wrap it around his hands making sure it was secured before he used it. I scotted away as far away from him as i could, before backing up into a corner with no where else to go._

 _"Im sorry.. please dont hit me. I cried out._

 _" That's not gonna cut it Gary. I've told you plenty of times before. To stop with all this EASE DROPPING BULLSHIT !! He yelled. BUT YOU DONT LISTEN DO YOU ?_

 _Silence_

 _DO YOU !!! he said again before attacking me with the belt._

 _GERLAAAD !!!! She yelled from behind the door when she heard me screaming. He kept beating me over and over and over_ _again to where my breathing couldnt even catch up with me. I can hear my mom outside banging on the door even more as she and my sister cried out begging him to stop. But he didnt. He kept hitting me until his belt had slipped from his grip making him even more mad as i cried out for my mother. He took both of his hands and slammed me up against the bathroom wall before placing them around my neck choking me. I honestly thought that i was going to die at that very moment. And honestly i wished i had. I cried out even louder before i felt one of his hands move from around my neck and up to mouth to shut me up._ _SHUT THE FUCK UP !!! he yelled once more before throwing me to the ground and kicking me in the ribs. I tried to cover my face but he got to it first. Punching me in the nose roughly as it began to bleed. I covered my nose before balling myself up in the corner and screaming_.

 _MOM_ _!!! help me_ _!!! i said through my tears and broken nose._

 _"You like that ? huh ? He yelled again_

 _He started punching and kicking me again and again before opening the bathroom door and leaving. I could see my mother hitting him while screaming WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM ? YOU FUCKING MONSTER !!! HOW COUlD YOU ?_ _she cried out. She ran into the bathroom almost throwing up when she saw how my face looked. She pulled me closer to her as our tears mixed together when our faces touched. She wrapped her arms around me tighly as if she never wanted to let me go._

 _" I'm so sorry gary...I'm so sorry. she cried holding me even tighter to her._

 _Giana had finally entered the bathroom after having an anixety attack on the kitchen floor. Her face was so red from all the tears that fell from her eyes. She cried even more when she seen my broken nose. After awhile she had laid down next to me on the bathroom floor as our mother held us both tightly together._

 _" I'm going to get us out of here. I promise. She said while kissing us on_ _our foreheads._

 _End of flasback_

I breathed in heavily before sitting up in my bed. I turned to look at the clock on my dresser before noticing a family photo of me, my sister and my mother on Thanksgiving. I smiled a bit before holding the picture tightly to my chest. I let a few tears slip away from my eyes before taking in deep and steady breaths at a time.I closed my eyes tightly picturing what she would've said if she were here. I laughed at the thought of her getting angry at me and slapping me in the back of head just for fun. _Damn_ _i missed her_. I placed the picture back on the table while wiping away the now dry tears with my favorite 141T-shirt. As if on cue Ghost walks in.

"Hey bug. he says standing at the door.

Hey.

Can i come in ?

Sure.

He walks in slowly after closing the door behind him.

" Are you alright mate ? he asked concerned.

" I'm f..fine.

 _C_ _urse my stuttering_.

" Hm...It doesnt seem like it mate. You wanna talk about it ?

No. I replied quickly advoiding any eye contact.

You know everyone's worried about you.

"Really ?

Aye. The bloody bastards begged me to come check on you.

he said still trying to make eye contact with the young sergeant.

"Oh...Thats nice.

"Nice ? he said with an arched brow.

"I mean..Thanks Ghost i really appericate it.

Are you sure you alright ?

"I said i was fine Ghost. Why cant everybody just leave me alone.

I said getting up to leave. But Ghost just grabbed my arm forcing me to turn back around to meet his icy blue stare.

"No your not Roach. I can see it in your eyes. Your not fooling anybody mate. Especially me.

Honestly there was nothing left to say. I could feel a lump starting to develop in the pit of my throat. It felt like i couldnt breathe. I wanted to cry so bad, but not with Ghost standing in front of me like that. He squeezed my arm to get my attention. I looked up at him trying to hold back the tears but i... just couldnt.

Roach ? he said.

I couldnt hold it in anymore. I started crying right there in front of him. It made me feel like a little bitch. He's probably thinking that im a wuss. Some baby that just needs attention. A big bloody kid thats to damn sensitive and naive to figure out their own feelings. He couldnt judge me. No one could judge me. I just lost my fucking mother a month ago of course i'm hurt. _Jesus_ _gary, pull your_ _self_ _together your_ _a fucking mess._ _And you know it._ Without saying anything he pulled me into a tight hug. _I really needed that hug. Alot. He must've felt my pain. Which was really weird but then again it was very heart-warming._ And welcoming.

Thanks Ghost. I said sniffling.

No problem mate.


End file.
